


I never meant for you to Die

by A_Padfoot



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-04
Updated: 2014-01-04
Packaged: 2018-01-07 10:15:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1118706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Padfoot/pseuds/A_Padfoot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry's suffering over the people who died during the war.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I never meant for you to Die

Harry breathed through his nose. His eyes were shut tight. The sound of rain beat a steady rhythm around him. He was slowly becoming drenched. The Astronomy Tower had become his solitude. The wand in his hand had been glowing red for a while now. The hex on the tip of his tongue, waiting to be released. He could probably do it nonverbally now, he thought, with a small frown.

 

He held out his left arm and directed the wand at it. He twirled it once. His mother’s smiling face filled his mind and let loose. The hex bit into his arm and he winced as the first cut appeared.

 

“I’m sorry,” he gasped. He moved the wand tip just next to the first cut. 

 

“I’m sorry,” he said again, as another cut appeared. This time for his father. He was crying now, the guilt and loneliness was crippling. A sob escaped him.

 

“Sirius.”

 

“Dumbledore.”

 

“Hedwig,” his wand twitched in his hand. The death of his owl had been so unexpected.

 

“Mad-Eye,” he whispered.

 

His whole body trembled. His left arm burned with pain, covered in thick, sticky blood. He transferred his wand to his left hand and pulled up the sleeve on his right.

 

“Dobby,” the cut was deeper this time. His emotions more irrational. He had told the elf not to save his life again! Why hadn’t he listened?

 

But Dobby never obeyed orders when it came to Harry’s safety...

 

Colin who should have never been in that position...

 

The next one was too painful. Fred’s dead eyes, the smile still on his face haunted him. Harry didn’t move for a long time before he finally lashed out. The cuts were continuing to get worse, deeper, more ragged. He breathed through his nose harshly. The last two, leaving his Godson without parents, they shouldn’t have been in battle...

 

“I was trying to make a world in which he could live a happier life." 

 

Harry’s lip pulled up in a snarl as the next cut appeared. 

 

He had died in vain. The world wasn’t a happier place. Voldemort maybe dead but how could they expect Harry to have the strength to answer Teddy when he asked why he didn’t have parents? Even though he was trembling violently, Harry’s hands snapped up to cover his face as another sob was ripped from him. It was too much...

 

The last cut connected with the cut for Remus. Finally Harry allowed himself to collapse against the wall. He would heal them in a moment. The pain needed time to get a good hold of him and then...When he was weak and nauseous, he would heal them. No one would suspect and tomorrow night...He would do it all again.

 

He couldn’t forget them. He needed to do this. 

 

“Potter?”

 

His name slowly dragged him back to reality, as he came up for air, he blinked and finally Draco Malfoy came into view.

 

“Malfoy,” he said simply. His brain still trying to catch up and work out what was happening. He felt a thrill of anger. Draco shouldn’t be here, witnessing this! It must have reflected on his face as well, for suddenly Draco looked scared and took a step back.

 

Harry squeezed his wand in his fist, panting hard. Just leave, he thought, just leave and we can pretend this never happened. Go.

 

But when had Malfoy ever cooperate with him? Instead the Slytherin took a calming breath, the fear was no longer on his face and he looked Harry in the eye.

 

“You need to heal those.”

 

And that’s all it took, Harry jumped to his feet, and sent a hex. Draco dodged it but Harry was on him, firing spell after spell, his lip curled up in a snarl.

 

“Potter stop!” 

 

“You should have left!”

 

“You’re going to bleed out!” Draco yelled in response as he threw up a barrier to protect himself from Harry’s curse. But Harry wasn’t listening. His head was pounding and he felt weak. He paused to catch his breath, his wand held limply at his side, but his eyes on Draco. He wasn’t stupid enough to let his guard down, even if he had no idea how he’d defend himself if Malfoy kept fighting him. 

 

Draco held out a hand as if to catch him, “Potter, you should sit down.”

 

Harry lurched forward but the movement cost him the rest of his energy. His world went dark and he hit the ground hard.

 

His head was still pounding when he came to. He blinked his eyes and Malfoy’s face came swimming into view. 

 

“I gave you a blood replenishing potion,” he said dully. “I also healed your wounds.”

 

Harry didn’t say anything. He felt sick. Now that he was more aware of how he was discovered, he was thoroughly embarrassed. That had been his private moment...He only asked for so much...And now even that was taken from him. 

 

“Why eleven?” Draco asked curiously. Harry snarled and tried to sit up. It was then that he realized he was tied down and only wearing a Gryffindor tie. 

 

“Let me go.”

 

Draco snorted.

 

“Malfoy, you tied me up! Let me go!” He yelled as loud as he could. Maybe someone would hear.

 

Draco snorted again.

 

“I also have your wand and charmed this place so no one can hear your screams,” he smirked and waited. Harry continued to glare at him though and the smirk fell off Malfoy’s face. “That was a muggle reference, wasn’t it? I thought you’d enjoy it.”

 

When Harry didn’t respond Draco sighed and stood up, drawing his wand. Now Harry knew fear. 

 

“Potter, I am the only one allowed to leave scars,” he said with a sneer. A cut blossomed on Harry’s arm when he brought the wand down.

 

Harry gasped. Then Draco leaned forward, licking at the blood and sucking at the cut.

 

“Do you understand?” He asked softly. Harry shook his head.

 

“N-no,” he answered slowly.

 

He sat up and brought the wand down again.

 

“Why eleven Potter?”

 

Harry didn’t answer, he was too transfixed by what Draco was doing. He was sucking, licking, even kissing each cut after he made it. He turned his bewildered gaze to Draco’s eyes but they were still cold.

 

“Answer me,” he said as he sat up. “I have enough potion here to keep you on the brink of death.”

 

They stared at each other for a moment before Harry turned away. 

 

“To remember, so...so they won’t be forgotten.”

 

He brought his wand down again. 

 

“That’s three,” Draco said softly.

 

He crawled on to Harry’s body so he was laying flat on him. Harry was startled to feel the erection pressing up against him. Wide, terrified eyes met Draco’s cold ones.

 

“You’re mine,” Draco breathed into his ear and he began sucking on the lobe before moving down to his throat, kissing and then biting so hard Harry cried out in pain. He was surely bleeding, but that seemed to only drive Draco further.

 

“Do you understand?” he asked.

 

Again Harry shook his head. Draco slammed him down, so his head bounced off the stone ground, and with a snarl he used his wand to cut into Harry’s arm again. It stung! Harry was so surprised at the feeling, that he hadn’t paid attention to what Malfoy was saying. 

 

Which Malfoy had apparently noticed. He swished the wand again and another blossomed. Harry bit back a cry. Draco sat up with a smirk.

 

“How many is that?”

 

“Five,” Harry groaned.

 

“Five,” Draco repeated. “Evanesco!”

 

Harry clothes vanished, leaving him suddenly cold and he his cock red and clearly aroused. He dropped his head back on the pillow. 

 

“Five,” Draco murmured. “Six.”

 

Another cut blossomed on his left arm now. Harry looked between his arms, none of the cuts were very deep. He frowned and told Malfoy so. A blonde eyebrow rose.

 

“To go deeper, I’d risk muscle damage.”

 

“You’re not going deep enough,” Harry stated. He flushed red. What was he saying? It was true but... Draco rolled his eyes and brought the wand down again. This cut was deeper. He couldn’t admire it long before Draco wrapped his cold fingers around Harry’s throat and pressed down.

 

A hand ghosted down his right side until it came level with Harry’s cock. It hovered there for a moment before Malfoy grasped it. Malfoy latched on to the other side of his throat. 

 

“We’re at seven now,” he growled. Harry’s eyes fell closed and he whimpered.

 

“Feels so good,” he groaned, grinding up into Draco.

 

“Say that again,” Draco demanded. Harry looked at him in confusion.

 

“What?”

 

“In parlestongue, Merlin, Potter just start talking,” Draco ended the sentence with a groan and went back to biting on Harry’s neck. Harry struggled against his bonds.

 

“Let me go,” he rasped. “Let me go and I’ll talk all you want.”

 

He felt Malfoy chuckle against his throat.

 

“Not a chance and besides, I can force you to talk Potter.”

 

He sat up and met Harry’s eyes, he was clearly amused.

 

“I’m a Potions Professor, you have no idea what I’m capable of, what potions I happen to have with me, trust me. I can force you to talk.”

 

“Four more,” Harry reminded him hastily. He did not want to find out what Malfoy had with him. Draco ran his hand up Harry’s right arm, over the many cuts and then pressed down with his fingers. Harry yelped and tried to pull away.

 

“You told him for whom you do this for, but you haven’t explained why.”

 

Draco let go of his arms and left another cut on the left.

 

“Eight,” he said quietly.

 

Harry hesitated. Did he even know why?

 

Yes, a small voice answered. It’s your fault.

Was there more to it?

 

No, the voice offered. It should have been you, not them. Voldemort wanted you.

 

He finally met Draco’s eyes and swallowed the lump in his throat.

 

“It’s my fault, I...” he trailed off. He needed punished? But that wasn’t right...

 

Malfoy’s face softened with surprise and...pity. Harry’s lip curled up in disgust. He did not want Malfoy’s pity for fucks sake! Before he was able to vocalize his outrage though, Draco had slide down the length of his body and swallowed his cock. All coherent thoughts left him.

 

It felt amazing. He struggled against his bonds as Draco swirled his tongue over the head of his cock. He pulled away with a pop. He met Harry’s eyes with a smirk and twirled his wand in his right hand and then placed the tip near Harry’s arse. Harry watched as he murmured a spell and felt the wand shift, growing larger and more rounded. Harry groaned as it pressed to his entrance. it was already slicked from the spell Draco used.

 

Harry was panting hard. The wand pushed forward and a gasp escaped him as Malfoy moved the wand slowly. It was swelling and throbbing inside of him! Slowly stretching him. A sob ripped through him and he pulled hard on the restraints. Draco stopped suddenly, pulling the wand free and it transfigured into it’s original form. Draco smirked. 

 

“This is going to count for the rest of them, it won’t fade, you can’t charm it away. You are mine, Potter. Only I can scar you, hurt you,” he grabbed a fist full of Harry’s hair and yanked, “break you,” he growled into his ear. “Not you. You’re not doing this again. If you need to be hurt, if you want scars, I will give them to you,” he pulled so Harry’s throat was exposed.

 

“Do you understand?”

 

“Yes,” Harry breathed. He was a puddle of pain and arousal. His skin tingled all over and he felt more alive than he had in months. Draco let go of his hair and jabbed his wand into Harry’s leg. There was a flash of white light and blood splattered everywhere, speckling Harry’s stomach and Draco’s face.

 

And then Draco rocked forward, his cock sliding into him. Harry growled and jerked forward again, his cock bouncing between them.

 

“Malfoy let me go!”

 

Instead, Draco grabbed the tie and wrapped it twice around his hand before pulling. It tightened slightly around Harry’s throat. A jolt of pleasure went through him and he moaned loudly, arching into Draco.

“Please, Malfoy,” he groaned. 

 

“Fuck,” Draco whispered. Suddenly the ropes holding his arms in place were gone. He brought them up and grabbed Draco’s arse, trying to drive him deeper.

 

“Harder, please,” he groaned into his ear.

 

“Yes, harder,” Draco agreed. Draco grabbed Harry’s cock and pumped it, it wasn’t long before Harry came hard, mouthing wordlessly against Draco’s throat. Draco slammed forward, harder, faster and then came, Harry’s name on his lips.

 

They lay there panting, catching their breath. Draco grabbed for his wand and then waved it, causing the cum and blood to vanish. Harry looked down, curious as to how Draco marked him.

 

It read, “Property of Draco Malfoy.”


End file.
